What is wrong with Kejriwal’s apologies?

Tendering an apology is the hardest thing to do. It means swallowing your pride and saying ‘sorry’. Perhaps this is why it is considered a great virtue by all faiths. Contrition is seen as a mark of strength of character, not weakness. Therefore religion encourages atonement and promises great reward to those who repent sincerely. But for politicians, it seems to be the easiest thing to do. They are past masters in the art of apologising, sorry-sorry-no sorry. Parrot-like they mouth apologies and continue to make the same mistakes. “I am sorry, but it was your mistake in the first place”, is how some apologise adding insult to injury. Hardcore politicians do it differently.

“I am misquoted or my statement is twisted” is the line they take. In most cases the apologies fall short or the misdeeds are compounded with an excuse. “If what I said has hurt someone I apologise”. This is an awful way of expressing regret. Those in public life tend to shift the blame on to others and emerge victorious rather than humble. In recent times there has been a spate of public mea culpas. From celebrities to corporate honchos and politicians everyone is on a regret spree—aimed of course at the public than the victims. Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal seems to be on penance. He is tendering apologies by the dozen just to escape lawsuits.

But he tries to give the impression that he is not interested in an ‘ego fight’. An apology is a wonderful thing so long as it is from the heart. In fact a sincere apology has three aspects to it. First it should be open and genuine. Second there should be a sense of guilt and third, those repenting should resolve not to repeat the mistake and make amends for the loss. When you have hurt somebody what’s wrong in apologising? No one has ever choked to death by swallowing his pride. Words are very powerful—they can make and mar, heal and wound. But apology is a super glue and can repair just about anything. “Wish I could undo the hurt. I am really sorry”.

This self humbling gesture is enough to defuse acrimony and disarm your opponent. And come to think of it saying sorry doesn’t mean you are wrong and the other person is right. What it means is that you value your relationship more than your ego. There is a grain of truth in what the elders say. Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them. Life is very transient, so laugh when you can.Apologise when you should and let go of what you can't change.

J.S.Ifthekhar,

Hyderabad based journalist.

Article published in The New Indian Express

Dated April 7,2018.